The end of another year

And here we are … it’s Dec 31,2018. And I’m a single 39.5 year old Indian woman, listening to 90s alternative rock (and realising once more that we don’t ever outgrow certain tastes) and trying to suss out her thoughts on what has been a continued less than stellar 2 year run.

Anyway that’s neither here nor there. I’m writing because I’m away from my family and close friends for most of the year and sometimes my thoughts just beg to be articulated …

So, it’s been a tough year. My immediate family has seen many rounds of bad health … and it’s been a real strain, to put it mildly. I’ve discovered inner resourcefulness that I didn’t know I had, and deep weaknesses and fears too. And flying solo, well I wish I wasn’t. It would be nice to have someone firmly for just me. (A romantic notion if there ever was one, but sometimes even I succumb to these)

On an aside: I don’t get people who don’t like Dave Matthews Band (thenolder stuff obviously )

I’ve many thoughts in my head. About friendship and career-life choices I’ve made and reversing some of those decisions and how to make myself unstuck, and to stop being a company slave. And how to get over my phone answering phobia. And that I must build myself a support network once more because we all forget and stop caring about once important people in our lives. At least, I feel redundant in nearly all of my friends’ lives. And it’s primarily because I’m nowhere in their physical proximity and I don’t pick up the phone so I’ve screwed it all up myself.

And I’m someone who has really great friends!!! I’ve never had these thoughts before so I guess my 40s will be vastly different from my teens and 20s and early 30s. Hmmm.

Anyhow I’ve got to run. I hope to write regularly this year, so here’s to that.

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